A friend of mine posted a status on Facebook the other night about how "You women have failed your men".... needless to say, this status started quite the debate that lasted long into the night. I should mention, what he was referring to was not that women are horrible wives/significant others but just that over time we have lost the ways of the "simpler times". This got me to thinking.... not only about "simpler times" but also how much my own point of view has changed on this very subject over the past few months.
I grew up a very independent woman. I worked my job (or jobs). I supported myself and my daughter. I raised my daughter by myself (mind you, I wouldn't have made it if I didn't have the support and help of my family). I prided myself on "being able to do it alone". Single and proud of it! That was my motto. While there is nothing wrong with this line of thinking, I came to realize that it may have been me during my 20's while I was still figuring things out and growing up, but in my 30's its not what I wanted. I wanted to settle down. I wanted to have a husband that I could share my life with. I wanted to spend more time with my daughter. I wanted to be more involved with her interests (It's amazing as to just how many PTO meetings are held in the middle of the day..... like us single working mothers could EVER make those meetings.). In short, I wanted the "American Dream" - Nice house with the white picket fence. A dog and a cat. 2.5 children (I would've been happy with the whole 3 children. Lol). I wanted it all. And I got it.
I found the man of my dreams (who happened to be the father of my daughter. Imagine that.) I got married and became the step mother to a 5 year old little girl. I have 4 dogs and 2 cats. I got a slightly convoluted version of the American Dream and I love every bit of it.
Over the past few months, I have had the good fortune (although it didn't seem like it at the time) to become a stay at home mom. The company I worked for abruptly shut down. Terrible, right? Well, yes and no. Yes, in the fact that I was incredibly worried about how I was going to pay bills. And no, in the fact that I got to spend more time with both of my children. I got to pick them up from school every day. No more day care (yay!). I got to spend more of my time on the parts of my life that I felt needed it the most. I have found over these short couple of months that my children do so much better, in school and at home, when I am simply around more.
I also have found what I believe to be a major problem in our civilization today. What? A Problem, you say? Never! Well, yes, I have found that the more we, as a society, have run away from those "simpler times" in order to run to a faster technologically advanced society, the more we have run away from simple things like morals, ethics, parenting.....
I remember when I was younger watching my grandmother. I have never, in 33 years, seen anything out of place in her home. Notice I said home. Not house. She made her house a home. She could cook her rear end off. She could sew and make just about anything. You would never catch her sitting down to dinner until everyone else's plates were full. You would never catch her with dirty dishes in the sink. Or wearing a wrinkled shirt or pants. Or not being completely presentable....even at 7AM. She never worked what we call "a real job". She had the hardest job in the world. Being a mother, a homemaker and a wife. She had a job that she worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and she worked that job until my grandfather passed away 6 years ago. She still works that job. She is 82 years old and you still won't find a spec of dust in her home. She is the epitome of a real woman.
Those are the "simpler times" I truly wish we, as a society, could go back to. We, as mothers, need to teach our children how to do the things that a woman needs to know. How to cook, clean, sew, raise children, be a good spouse, maintain a household and how to turn a house into a home. Men, as fathers, you need to teach your boys how to be providers, leaders and the "Man of the House" (and by this I mean a real man, not macho).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a woman should never "have a real job". I love working. I love my career. I will continue working from home/owning my own business so that I can be home. You do what works best for you. All I am saying is that for my family, my children are better when Momma is home.
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